Yesterday was my two-month birthday and it made me think back over the past weeks of sobriety. It feels like it's been a lot longer than two months. Six months would have made more sense. This might be because I've been able to do so much more than I would have in two months of active alcoholism. In fact, I don't think I would have been able to do as much in a year as I've done in the past two months. It fills me with gratitude and an overwhelming sense of having made the right choice; to ask for help and get sober.
My journey so far has been simple but not easy, if that makes any sense. It's been simple in the sense that I've followed a simple program - go to meetings, don't pick up a drink, one day at the time. It's been hard to experience emotions at full speed without the crutch that was alcohol every time there was some emotional turmoil or conflict. It's been (selfishly) hard dealing with other people's addictions and other "short-comings" while dealing with my own. I've had to look at myself - my actions, reactions, thoughts and feelings in a new light (as opposed to no light at all). I am utterly crap at looking at myself. I'm getting better through step work but jeeez... I just want to curl up under a duvet and hide!
On the whole I'm enjoying the process of getting to know myself regardless of the uncomfortable truths that keep surfacing. I am sober today and nothing else really matters. Thank You God(s).