This recovery business sure is a slow process. Sometimes I do find that I'm "getting it" a bit quicker than I thought I would. Other people in the rooms have commented on this about me. However, I think that it's important to remember that it really is an ongoing journey. Something to work on everyday. Some people say they make a decision every morning not to drink. I suppose I do this too, but not in a conscious way anymore. I only have 8 weeks sobriety and things are looking a little bit more complicated than they did in the beginning. Maybe this is because during the first couple of weeks I was concentrating solely on the task of not picking up a drink. My whole existence was based around substitute activities, mainly making and drinking endless cups of weird and wonderful herbal teas, many of them designed to help the detox process (dandelion, nettle, green tea etc). That was fairly simple (though not easy) in the sense that I only had one thing to concentrate on. Now there are other things that need to be done. I'm happy doing them, but boy do they require some soul searching! I'm talking about the steps of course. The first three steps were "easy" for me although the praying took a bit of practice and it still does. Embarking on step 4 is just plain scary, but I know in my heart that it will do me (and probably other people around me) a world of good to work through it. I also have a sneaky feeling it's going to be one of those steps I'll need to revisit from time to time.
My main feeling for today is: "...and that's ok." A little glimpse of serenity right there!
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