Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Exercise in Sobriety

Ever since I was a young teenager I was involved in sports and fitness. As I approached my twenties I was very fit and managed to keep it that way for a couple of years. Through university I got a bit lazy, largely due to boozing and smoking but even then I had periods in which I would force myself to go out running or go to the gym. Towards my mid to late twenties I found myself boozing more than anything else, really. I quickly got very unfit and every time I embarked on a fitness regime it only ever lasted for a week, maybe two. Every time I went back to the gym I had to start all over again. It's enough to suck all motivation out of you. Towards the end it became a health hazard to even venture out for a walk up the High Street. In sobriety, however, I find myself embracing what comes naturally to me and what has always been a part of my life, something I love doing. I now swim and/or go the gym almost every day of the week and I absolutely love it! I might have swapped one obsession for another but I really don't give a toss. I love it, it keeps me fit and energetic and I can now wear my tiny size 10 (UK) Lee jeans that I've had for 1,5 years but never managed to button up (a little vanity is allowed, surely?)!

I did a big chunk of step 4 work with my sponsor on Monday. It was draining to say the least and there's a lot left to do. I can feel slight changes in my behaviour, if not my feelings, even though they seem to have cooled down somewhat too. It's a relief to see that things are starting to happen in that department. There's really nothing like step work to put things in perspective and I realise I've been a self-indulgent little shit with huge amounts of control issues. And I still am.


  1. Many congrats on returning to your love of fitness! I've been devoted to fitness my entire life, even through most of my drinking which unfortunatly enabled me to justify my nightly two bottles of wine. BUT... (there's always a but, isn't there?) towards the end of my active alcholism I began to realize that I was either choosing more drinking over my working out or I was simply unable to pull myself together and get to the yoga studio/running path. It was CLEAR that I was going downhill fast.

    In sobriety, fitness was the first thing I turned to and it really-deeply-truly got me through the first year of my non-drinking life. Of course, since I'm an alcoholic I couldn't exercise normally and managed to run 7 half-marathons in two years which is insane, but hey - at least I'm SOBER! It's a great outlet and I'm honestly blissed out when I see others in recovery return to the physical well-being we all deserve. Good for you.

  2. I keep writing I-so-relate-to-you posts on your blog but they aren't appearing! So sad. So this one is a test to see if it works. If it does, my next comment will be much more compelling, I promise.

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