Sunday, 13 November 2011
OK, so it was carnival night last night. That means thousands of people gathering in town, eating and drinking and partying. It also means a very busy pub, and I ended up with the nightmare shift 7pm till 1am. It was non-stop serving, too many people behind the bar as well as in front of it. Drinks were spilt and I was basically marinating in stinking alcohol all night. I felt rather stressed and had this feeling of wanting to run away and hide in safety. The danger came when I poured a couple of servings of spirits by mistake and had to get rid of them somehow. Instead of just pouring them straight down the sink, which would have been the safest option for me, I put them out the back with the thought that somebody might want them later. After three hours I was sent for a break and as I walked by the drinks I picked one up, filled it with coke and took it with me to the kitchen where I had a rolled up cigarette waiting for me. I put it on the side, smoked my cigarette och contemplated drinking it. It would have been so easy, nobody needed to find out, it would take the edge off (as if!) and I could start again in the morning. Oh... the dilemma. However, I managed to get up, grab the plastic glass and pour the drink down the drain. And the relief was immense. The relief was even greater this morning when I remembered what I'd almost done but didn't do. It was a good reminder of why I got rid of my Saturday night shifts when I stopped drinking. It was also good to remember that it's so dangerous to become complacent. All in all I actually enjoyed the night, people were in a good mood and there were no major catastrophes.