Busy

I'm keeping busy, working in the pub, doing university work, AA work, meetings. It seems to be the only way I can function at the moment. It can only be a good thing because I don't have time to think about drinking and I'm amazed at how much time I used to waste by being constantly.. well.. wasted! I had some good times, but at the end of my drinking career I only drank because I had to. I didn't enjoy it at all and that's when I knew it had to stop. It was my rock bottom. People who don't understand this illness will ask why I didn't stop earlier, and why did I continue drinking even though I didn't enjoy it etc. Well, I've come to understand that as the illness of alcoholism progresses it stops being a choice. It becomes a necessity, both physically and mentally. At this stage most people need outside help to stop whether by rehab or detox or whatever. Obviously the individual has to be willing, and by gods, I was. I am! And I will be eternally grateful for the opportunity that presented itself with the help of my doctor, detox nurse, boss, partner and friends... and AA of course! But the crucial thing is that I myself had to ask for that help and opportunity!

At today's meeting I shared about my pagan beliefs and the concept of the body as the temple of one's soul etc, and I was surprised and happy about the amount of people that came up to me after the meeting to talk about it, saying that they hold similar beliefs, or that they want to know more about earth traditions. You just never know what's going to happen at these meetings, and that is one of the things that makes me going back to the rooms.

I'm now (Saturday) on day 12.