Thursday, 30 June 2011


Sitting here with my cup of green tea and a cigarette I am thinking about alcohol substitutes. Have I started to smoke more? No, possibly a bit less, but I still smoke which I didn't plan to do after the detox. I do drink more tea, especially green tea and herbal ones. I do not drink much water apart from the odd glass of soda water when I'm working behind the bar (because it's available and free). Before the detox I had this romantic notion of automatically stopping all that is bad for me once I'd given up alcohol. That didn't quite happen.

Being in the very early days of recovery it might not be a good idea to put additional pressure on myself by trying to be super healthy. I want to. I want to go back to the gym, go out for a run, eat healthily, not smoke etc, but for now, sobriety has to come first. Who cares if I have a cigarette with my cup of tea in the morning? I'm not hungover and I can pop to the shop with my eyes open in the sunshine! That is all that matters at the moment and I'm making sure I remember how good this is compared to the alternative. I don't wake up at 5am sweating and panicking, I'm not plotting how I'm going to get hold of my next bottle(s) of wine, I'm not all puffed up and red-faced, I don't suffer when I step outside on a nice sunny day, I sleep at night instead of passing out - and all that is amazing!

It's day 24 and I am so grateful.

No comments:

Post a Comment