This evening me and my partner went to a friend's album launch. It's her second and it's just as divine as the first one. As a genre it's not my cup of tea, but something about my friend's music is different. I think it's the fact that she seems to be completely genuine. The things she says and the words she sings come straight from her heart and soul. She likes to say that her music comes from one single source ultimately; love. So true. Her voice is just amazing and I find myself fighting back tears when listening to some of her songs, especially live, like tonight.
This evening I felt as if I found another part of me that had got lost during my drinking days, particularily towards the last couple of years. I reconnected with some old friends I haven't seen for years, others that I only see occasionally and I felt so at home. When I was around them a few years ago I didn't appreciate what I had. I didn't see how precious those people and that environment really was. I was too busy (at the time completely unaware) either drinking or planning my next drink, oh and recovering from drinking, to see what was going on around me. I saw a lot of beauty, love and serenity tonight and for that I am grateful.
My drinking, or lack of, came up in a couple of conversations. In one I told a friend I haven't seen for three years that I've given up drinking, she looked a bit blank and said she never noticed that I drank too much, that she couldn't remember that about me. But as we chatted for a bit memories started coming back to her and she understood. She said she can't identify with it because she doesn't touch the stuff, and when she does find herself with a drink she has about three sips and then forgets about it. A reality so far far away from mine... The other was a guy who when he heard another friend of ours mention the fact that I'd gone to a festival and not had a drink exclaimed "Are you teetotal!?" - a genuinely happy exclamation. He doesn't drink at all (not sure why) and he said that he'd lately bumped in to several people who say they don't drink or just stopped for some reason or other. He looked so pleased that I didn't tell him why I'd stopped. It feels like I'm moving in the right circles again. I love all my friends but some are better for my sobriety than others.
love your honesty. and love that you went out and not only enjoyed yourself but your no drinking was validated and encouraged. go easy on yourself for smoking. i'll have to do the same...only made it six hours after hypnotist on sat. wanted to punch someone in the face or crawl into bed. reminded me of quitting drinking and freaked out about going through it again. will wrote more on blog later this week. keep writing. -adrianne
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