Saturday, 16 July 2011

Tired but in a good way

I've been up since 7.20am, which is unheard of for me on a Saturday. I had arranged with my sponsor to go swimming, which we did. While I was there I also joined their membership scheme which includes the gym and got a good deal. Two inductions booked in, and meanwhile I can use the swimming pool for free. After the inductions I'm gonna hit the gym a couple of times a week with some swimming thrown in between. After that I went to a meeting which was good. We talked about step 2 and people had really good things to say about that.

I'm starting to enjoy this sobriety thing. In the beginning I only focused on not drinking and my whole life revolved around avoiding triggers, situations, feelings, emotions, smoking as much as I could and drinking enormous amounts of tea and soft drinks - just to stave off drinking thoughts. Even though I didn't desire a drink, the physical and mental habits were still there. I didn't know what to do with myself without a glass of wine in my hand, or indeed, without the promise of a having a glass of wine in my hand later after work etc. Now I am almost comfortable making plans for the next few days because I can be quite certain that I'll be able to keep to them. I can arrange to meet people and know that I'll be there in body as well as spirit, which didn't use to be the case. For example, I had planned to do some form of exercise four times this week, I have already done five! It may sound like a small thing, but it's nothing short of miraculous for me.

I'm grateful for waking up early on a saturday without a hangover, without the shakes, sweats and the anxiety. I'm so grateful that I'm sober today, one day at the time.

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