It’s strange how one’s perspective can change after some sleep at night. It’s as if a new day really does bring new possibilities and the promise of change. I feel a whole lot better today. After a cuddle with my partner in bed this morning I went for a run. It was a beautiful sunny day and not many people around on the grounds where I go running. A dog came up and said hello. Nothing in particular has happened today but my mood is good, I’m getting some work done for uni and I’m going to a meeting tonight. I haven’t been to a meeting since Sunday, and it feels like it’s been too long. I really need a midweek meeting as well but at the same time I can feel that I’m spending too much time in meetings and too little on uni work or other things I want to do when I’m off work. It’s all about priorities I suppose, and my number one priority is to stay sober.
Yesterday’s events seem unreal, as if they didn’t happen. That’s probably because I don’t want them to have happened. My perspective was gone (as my sponsor pointed out) and I was blinded by the thoughts in my head that I couldn’t control. I was obsessing and not letting go. I could not in any way see that perhaps I was overreacting and taking things too far by threatening to leave etc. Now, I don’t in any way defend my partner’s actions, but I’ve come to accept them today as part of his psychological make-up. It’s something that I can’t control apart from letting him know what I think of such behaviour. That’s all I can do before sitting back and letting it all go.
I’m so overwhelmingly grateful that I didn’t pick up a drink yesterday and that I’m still sober today.