Thursday, 7 July 2011

Drinking dream

There's a first time for everything.

I've read about drinking dreams on various blog and feared that I'd be plagued by these once I stopped drinking, which would only be expected as drinking was such an ingrained part of my daily routine. So far I've been spared as far as I know (one can't be expected to remember all dreams). However, last night I had one. I can't remember the particulars of the dream, nor how I ended up taking a drink it, but I do remember that I felt as if I had taken that drink by mistake, sort of forgetting that I was no longer drinking. The taste of that half a lager, which is something I haven't touched in months (my drink was wine and bourbon) lingered in my mouth for a long time afterwards in the dream and I remember thinking "oh my god, I've had a drink, I'm not supposed to, I better not fall off the waggon" and then the ensuing panic. Thankfully I got woken up at this point. How real that taste of lager was!

So what triggered this dream? I'm not sure but me and my partner had cross words at bedtime and I went to bed angry thinking about the fact that I'd normally have a drink on these feelings and how good it'd be if I had a way of numbing myself right now. I didn't actually want a drink, but I was thinking about it. Maybe this was the trigger.

It's been exactly one month today since I had my first sober day on 7 June. At the moment I don't fancy a drink and I don't fancy another drinking dream. I'm very grateful for everything that I've got and need to find a way of dealing with this frustration and anger inside.

One day at the time.

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations on reaching your 30th day!! I'm not sure how you do it working in a Pub, but stay strong!!