Tuesday 5 July 2011

Time for some Gratitude

I'm grateful for the fact that I can study and understand what I'm doing. In fact, I'm on schedule with my course work for the first time since I started it almost two years ago. While I was drinking, even though I didn't study while I was drunk, I was clearly mentally affected by the fact that I drank heavily every night. I looked through some earlier material today and can't even remember doing the work that I've done. It's pretty scary and will prove difficult when it's time to tie all the material together for the final exam. I'll just have to spend some time re-reading I guess.

I'm grateful for having a more stable mood and not have that jo-jo effect where my moods would be elevated one minute, then dark and miserable the next with no way of knowing what would trigger it. It would not only affect me but the people close to me as well.

I'm grateful for actually wanting to get out of bed in the morning to face a new day. Even going to bed is enjoyable now whereas it used to be filled with dread - "if I go to bed I'll have to face tomorrow shortly - aaargh", which prompted a few more drinks to garantuee passing out. Before I stopped drinking I dreaded sleepless nights, but thankfully they haven't materialised.

I'm grateful for my sponsor who is a very sweet and interesting woman with so much to give. She keeps me grounded. 

My life is far from perfect and there's lots more work to do, but I think it's important to remember the good things and be grateful for them. I've learnt that it's an important part of recovery.

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